Come On, Let's Go.

Pearl of Foreseeing

The Monster Brains blog acquired quite a treasure recently. The complete Official Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Coloring Book, scanned for your entertainment. My favorite page has to be "A Vision of Demon Fire," wherein the party's dwarf has a vision of all matter of demonic (and baboon-ic) hellfiends playing what seems to be a friendly game of cee-lo on a pentagram inscribed into the floor. Adorable.


The Ecology Most Likely To

I've recently gotten a hold of a number of seminal Dungeons and Dragons magazine Dragon back issues and hoo-boy are these an absolute treasure trove. The articles, which I've only gotten a chance to gloss, are as in-depth as you would expect any 70s hobbyist magazine to contain; this was long before the day gaming mags were simply eyecandy graded from 7 to 10 and press release circle-jerks.

The plentiful illustrations have an absolutely endearing pro-am quality to them that no modern publication can ever hope to match. For instance, take a look at out friend Baphomet, here, illuminated goatman-bosom and all. By the worried look of the skeleton on the left, I think the demon king just announced that no, those nachos are not sitting very well at all:

Or what about this Frazetta-style work, ripped right from the pages of Edgar Rice Burrough's John Carter of Mars novels. I love the concerned look on the maiden's face as she faces what seems to be a dire version of Lion-O's faithful companion Snarf. In fact, the cat-thing seems to be echoing her worried expression. Perhaps they are both wondering what, exactly, Hank Furnace of Neptune is doing, staring off into the distance like that, weapon drawn, for what has been fifteen minutes now.

Finally, I bring to you what the editors of Dragon magazine and absolutely nobody else thinks of when they hear the words “Dungeon Master.”



Co. Penny Arcade.

Q: Is it true you're really into Dungeons and Dragons?

VIN: No. I never play D&D. For some reason, they thought that I played D&D for 20 years. They thought that I spent years playing Barbarians, Witchunters, The Arcanum. They thought I played D&D back in the '70s when it's just the basic D&D set. They thought I continued to play D&D when it became Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. They thought I played D&D when there were only three books - the "Player's Handbook," the "Monster's Manual" and the "Dungeon Master's Guide." They thought I played D&D as it continued onto the Unearthed Arcanum, Oriental Adventures, Sea Adventures, Wilderness Adventures. THEY thought I played D&D at the time when "Deities and Demigods" was the brand new book. THEY thought I played D&D when I used to get up to a place called The Complete Strategist in New York.


Gimme a Roll

As a Dungeons and Dragons player, I know my fair share of absolutely weird, weird people. A few years back, I went to a local D&D game I found thanks to LiveJournal. It was alright, but I decided I had too many other commitments to actually hang around. Oh. And one other thing. The dungeon master – a term about to become unnecessarily accurate – had a copy of the Book of Erotic Fantasy (SFW Amazon link.) This is a Dungeons and Dragons supplement that has no reason to exist. I am of the humble (and correct) opinion that, past the age of, say, thirteen, sex does not belong in Dungeons and Dragons. Want sex? Go start a Vampire LARP or whatever; I was just there to kill, loot and plot. Immediately afraid that this wasn't just an impulse/ironic purchase on behalf of the DM, I decided not to come back.

Co. DnD Game Shop

Five years later, I am downloading a D&D supplement for our weekly game when I come across a torrent of the Book of Erotic Fantasy and download it on a lark. The first page has a list of ...playtesters for the volume. I immediately wager to myself that every single one of them is male and begin to read the names.

I'll bet you can guess whose name was first on that list.

Every time I watch Fear of Girls – the short film below – I remember that experience anew, whether I want to or not.


I’m Attacking the Darkness

After watching an episode of the unnecessarily ill-fated show Freaks and Geeks a few chums and I started my high school's Dungeons and Dragons club. Unfortunately, a club-wide lack of organization devolved it into a room of screaming nerds before you could say “roll for initiative.” Finding absolutely no fun in the chaos, one of my closest friends and I obtained the necessary manuals and defected to his basement, eventually convincing his girlfriend and a few others to join in the fun. We started playing every weekend. That was ten years ago. These days, I play D&D (3.5) every other Sunday. We have neither the teenage stamina nor empty schedules for twelve-hour marathon sessions anymore, but the gang still looks forward to pizza, metal and goblin-slaying.

...and, much like any other group of D&D players, we quote this incessantly:


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