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Oh Fudge Pt. 3

My love for obscenity-only cuts of films will never die, although just like in the previous installments of "Oh Fudge", you better check this out now because it's going to get dropped off YouTube in roughly six minutes. Meanwhile, I just re-watched Pulp Fiction the other weekend, and I have to say that the scene set in Jack Rabbit Slim's is easily one of my favorite moments in cinema.


Car Stereo

I love how the two videos below are almost complete inverses of one another. Not only that, they also remind me of sitting with my mom in the back seat of my uncle's car, some spring night in Israel. I must have been about 13 at the time. He had the radio on to a pop station and what came on was a skit from some rap album or another (although I’m still not entirely sure it was an actual rap skit and not the first five minutes of Aphex Twin’s Windowlicker video.) This had been the first time I had ever been barraged by so much obscenity with adults, nevermind my family, in the frame, and I just sat there slightly giggle myself. After about a minute and several dozen angry conjugations of the word “fuck,” my mother asked my uncle to change the station, more out of annoyance than anything else.



If the compiler(s) of this video did not score a lucrative job as a film or television editor, I have nothing but (more) contempt for the media industry. Here's hoping that hollywoodvideoclips has some more stuff to show us in the future.

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Today’s Weather Is Pickled

A few months ago, I was touring the headquarters of the non-profit for whom I work. While my department's office, which takes up a relatively small single floor, is in midtown Manhattan, HQ is a sprawl of programs and facilities in an out-of-the-way Queens neighborhood. One of these programs is English language education for adults, aimed mostly at immigrants. Now, as an immigrant myself, I learned English as a second language at age six, and the material was appropriate for that age: we had coloring books about cats and lessons about the proper names for school supplies and so on. Even the Spanish classes I took in high school were aimed at studying the language in a purely academic manner. The workbooks for these classes were quite different. I read one of the handouts, which was a lesson on idioms for socializing and dating. There was something strange about teaching slang – especially when it had to do with sex – although in hindsight it made perfect sense. We second graders were picking up the very basics of communication. The individuals in these classes, on the other hand, have had an adult's-lifetime-worth of speaking in their own language and understood social cues perfectly well. They lacked only the vocabulary and its proper context to be able to communicate naturally. Still, even for the most dedicated student of the language, it must be odd to be asked to compose a sentence properly using the phrase “hook up.” Although, probably nowhere near as odd as studying under this guy:

via The Awl


Good Night, Everybody

There's really not much I can say to introduce or explain this scene. It's one of those rare cultural artifacts that defies explanation for its existence.


Oh, Fudge Pt. 2

This is one of the most [BLEEP] amazing pieces of [BLEEP] children's television I have ever [BLEEP] seen. Now this isn't only due the puritanical nature of American television having made the censor-bleep funnier and more obscene than any swear word one could imagine - just watch Jon Stewart for irrefutable proof of this. And it is not just because this episode of a children's show features a bunch of kids throwin' cusses like Ice Cube on a bender. No, the best part is that swearing is treated like the Dune film's Weirding Module: you say it, shit blows up but good.


Oh, Fudge

A generation removed from the unplumbable depths that brought Ate My Balls to the nascent Internet, a phenomenon known as “The Fucking Short Version” popped up on YouTube a few years back. Thanks to the proliferation of digital media, cheap processors and user-friendly editing software, a certain damaged few took it upon themselves to edit movies down to occurrences of the word “fuck” within the shooting script. Here is a modest (and inherently spoiler-laden) example from the Coen Brothers classic The Big Lebowski. You can find more here:

Wonderful, isn't it? Like good old-fashioned moonshine, the entirety of the film is distilled into several minutes linked only by an almost arbitrary choice of a word. Of course, “fuck” isn't arbitrary. Lewis Black may claim his use of the word as punctuation, but it rings out, clear as a bell, every time. Maybe it is the fact that it is contextualized with a movie I've seen often enough to perform, maybe not. There is something to be said for driving a meme into pure absurdity, however. So here's every single swear word on the Sopranos (spoiler alert, once again,) in eighteen minutes:

Okay, had enough? Rinse your brain and ears out with something a little more family friendly from a more innocent time:


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